Citadel Online

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All about the Subjugation, Insurrection, and Unification books.

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Chasm
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Citadel Online

Post by Chasm » Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:26 am

And now for the important question.

What kind of bag did he find in one of the Citadel treasure chests?
:mrgreen:

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Wolfee
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by Wolfee » Thu Sep 19, 2019 9:37 pm

At this point I have read chapters 1-9 through twice and all I have to say is well done Fel!

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Fel
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by Fel » Fri Sep 20, 2019 3:11 am

Glad you liked it. I'm still not sure I edited it correctly though. In the original version, Xen gets Touched by the Djinn off the sea giant prince, but then I realized he couldn't possibly get skilled enough in using it by the end of the Grand Crusade to make the battle at Freeport work. So, I gave Savar the Legendary skill instead and retconned seven entire chapters so that he had the skill at the beginning of the story.


I had to do some major edits and rewrites to work that into the story, then fix the 2 chapters after he got the skill in the original story to make it make sense.
Just another guy from the shallow end of the gene pool.

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Wolfee
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by Wolfee » Fri Sep 20, 2019 3:15 am

Fel wrote:
Fri Sep 20, 2019 3:11 am
Glad you liked it. I'm still not sure I edited it correctly though. In the original version, Xen gets Touched by the Djinn off the sea giant prince, but then I realized he couldn't possibly get skilled enough in using it by the end of the Grand Crusade to make the battle at Freeport work. So, I gave Savar the Legendary skill instead and retconned seven entire chapters so that he had the skill at the beginning of the story.


I had to do some major edits and rewrites to work that into the story, then fix the 2 chapters after he got the skill in the original story to make it make sense.
Yes there is a bunch of spelling errors... big deal - I personally haven't found anything that I thought was a continuity error. I read pretty damn fast true, but I haven't found anything that in my mind broke continuity or had me questioning what was going on.

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Fel
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by Fel » Fri Sep 20, 2019 4:11 am

Yeah, after all the proofreading and editing, I was so burned out I didn't feel like spending another hour running spellcheck on all 9 chapters.

Yall have to live with my laziness.
Just another guy from the shallow end of the gene pool.

calista241
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by calista241 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 4:56 am

I love this type of RPG story. Very well done Fel!

Belgarion213
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by Belgarion213 » Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:05 am

I rather enjoyed this. The events didn't have any world shaking events like the various battles that have racked teh galaxy, but in its own way it was more powerful by being on the ground. Xan was a powerful and skilled player but he wasn't a Grand Duke worried about the politics of an entire galaxy and trying to to make sure he dodesn't accidentally unleash the Faey on the rest of the universe via his galactic scale translight hyperdrives.

It's interesting to see his view on teh falilure of the people dealing with the aftermath of hte farms. It was a throwaway line but he mentions a Faey took control of his body and made him kill his best friend, helpless to resist is rather horrifying and plays with the humans utter helplessness in the minds of a dedicated telepath.

Now the game was interesting and it really shows the limts of what's possible when you have one of the most powerful AI systems in existence heloping to develop your game, and it seems like a game that I would love to play. Skill is much more important than just item leve.

The grand Crusade while focusing on one player also felt sufficently epic in scope as it transformed the entire play experience, and hte Citidel felt suitably high level where even the low level mods were harder to kill than raid bosses which is amusing.

I fully expect the simsense recording of that five hour battle is going to explode if Xan uploads it.

I loved hte Accountant Pai and I hope she doesn't vanish from the story, maybe he can reach out to her for advice on getting a good investment broker or something. It's interesting to see somebody just as telepathic phobic as Tamika(sp?) was from the first game but (so far as we know) no telepathic talent of his own. It also leasd to that stody about why some people are better suited to simsense than others.

JNMC
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by JNMC » Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:32 pm

I have only read them the one time, but I also have to say well done. As I read it, besides enjoying the online fun, it had enough of the 'real world' drama to keep me thinking about Revolution as well. I think one of the things I like most about Revolution is how vile the antagonists of the piece are likely to turn out to be. A place of power wealth and privilege, using it to take advantage of the people they're supposed to help, all in order to get more. However, I think the true crime which is really going to set Jason off is yet to be revealed. Someone in the administration of farm workers assistance had to be a decent human being ... without telepathy...

kabalman2000
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by kabalman2000 » Tue Sep 24, 2019 1:06 pm

Chasm wrote:
Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:26 am
What kind of bag did he find in one of the Citadel treasure chests?
Here I was presuming this was some sort of inside joke that I wasn't getting because I've never played these games. I mean, really, big set-up and then "we shall not speak of this again."

Oh well, maybe it will be cleared up in a later chapter of Revolution.

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kyli
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Re: Citadel Online

Post by kyli » Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:40 am

Finally got around to reading this. Gonna jump right into revolution 7 and 8 after this post. I wanted the read this before catching up with revolution.

One error in the story is the point where it says there were Youtube's before the subjugation. I guess its an easy mistake to make, but youtube was started in 2005. The same year the subjugation began.

Very fun story and I enjoyed it a lot.
"Revenge is a dish best served cold, and revenge is sweet, so for all intents and purposes, revenge is ice cream."

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