Familiar, Chapter 1.

Miscelanious Short Stories
felfan3000
Katzh-dashi
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Re: Familiar, Chapter 1.

Post by felfan3000 »

Thanks Fel!
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baengi
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Re: Familiar, Chapter 1.

Post by baengi »

that typo made my 13 y.o. inner child laugh:

[...] where he worked as a pubic works official. The Baron’s job was to organize [...]
Andygal
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Location: Canada

Re: Familiar, Chapter 1.

Post by Andygal »

this is a really interesting premise, and I'd be interested if you wanted to continue it.

My only quibble is that some of the exposition feels a bit redundant and could probably be tightened up.
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CRYUnicornClear
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Re: Familiar, Chapter 1.

Post by CRYUnicornClear »

The Chess rules were hard to get thru and would possibly be better used as a flashback in a latter chapter if its necessary for later story. As always you make world building interesting and impossible to stop reading. I am now curious to know the twists and turns you have set up. Looking forward to any new chapter in any story.
thrystan
Talent
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Re: Familiar, Chapter 1.

Post by thrystan »

I definitely want to read more of this.
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Ping
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Re: Familiar, Chapter 1.

Post by Ping »

To put it eloquently: Moar, please

And yes, I more or less skipped the chess part.
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trodrian
Sorcerer
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Re: Familiar, Chapter 1.

Post by trodrian »

Thanks, FEL
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Blacktiger
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Re: Familiar, Chapter 1.

Post by Blacktiger »

An awesome story! I was at first a bit sceptical but then the story really took off for me! You really have a great talent at building worlds, Fel. You should be proud of that :mrgreen:
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