The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Fovean_Author
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The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Fovean_Author » Sun Aug 05, 2007 1:51 am

I checked with the forum administrator, who said it would be ok to post about my novels, the Fovean Chronicles.

In a nutshell, these books have been an ongoing project of mine that I've become more serious about lately. Book One is available online while I work out a deal with a publisher, book two is being written and released chapter by chapter, usually one or two a week, although you might wait a month for a new chapter.

With book one, I did this on my company web site and received thousands of opinions. With book two, I've sold that company, and I don't have as many good opinions.

You guys, from my experiences here, REALLY know your fantasy, so here's the deal:

If you want to read me online, go here:

http://www.intwiz.com

If you leave a relevant opinion on the book here, I'll PM you with a free logon to read the first book online for free.

People who spend a lot of time will get things like free autographed copies. I'll be honest, you'll have to put some time in for that.

Thanks in advance for your time. I really appreciate it

Bob Brady
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The Fovean Chronicles
http://www.swordsandsorcery.com

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Mysterious
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Mysterious » Sun Aug 05, 2007 8:20 am

Looks like to be a start of a great story :mrgreen:

I like how you have researched and added technical details that are believeable at the start of this story. His background is well thought out and everybody likes an Irishman.
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by afrigeek » Tue Aug 07, 2007 5:58 am

Looks like a very good start so far. Enough left unexplained to keep one's interest while enough is given to keep you reading on.
Also the sense of destiny and gods mucking around with some mortal's life. A very good read I must say. Stirred up the curiosity quite a bit.I think its a very good work.
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by gesit » Tue Aug 07, 2007 8:14 am

will give this a try m8
thanks

ham

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Never_Fear
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Never_Fear » Tue Aug 07, 2007 11:49 am

Great starting chapters I would love to read the rest of the book

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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by hawkstarr » Tue Aug 07, 2007 12:47 pm

Bob,
Coming from one who has read your first book online in it’s entirety, I found it to be an excellent twist on the "a knight in King Author's Court" theme/idea. The characters are well written, even the minor ones, and the character’s flaws make them all that more believable.
I have to admit, when I read the end of book one, I was confused to see where the next was going to go. Currently I have only read a few of the first chapters of the second book, and was happily surprised how you brought each of the new characters together with the old.
Attempting not to give anything away here but:
The only question I have is the son, is that ever revisited? I have often wondered about that.
I will have to see if I can dig up my downloaded copy of book one, but I think that was lost some time ago. I would like to reread and get some better comments for you. Thanks for your hard work!
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Fovean_Author » Wed Aug 08, 2007 1:11 am

Well, everyone who gave advice has received free online passwords

hawkstarr - I don't know what you mean about the son, do you mean Tartan, Glennen's son?

If so, you're going to LOVE book 2
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Mysterious » Wed Aug 08, 2007 10:23 pm

I think he means Aileen's son (I hope I didn't screw up :!: )
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Fovean_Author » Wed Aug 08, 2007 10:31 pm

Yes, he did, and no, I don't think that this ruins the book for anyone

Books 3/4 will be more about children of people whom you're getting to know now, although they pop their heads up in book 2

I didn't leave him as a dangling thread, tho
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by hawkstarr » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:16 am

Yep. didn't want to spoil it for anyone else. PM all the way!
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Mizriath » Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:37 am

I have only read the 3 available chapters of Book One. Good start to hold the reader's interest. I had mentioned there that the scene seems a bit disjointed in the character development because I need to have a grasp of the world. Probably because he is on the learning curve.
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Fovean_Author » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:22 am

Guys, don't worry about book one - it's already to print

Book Two, Indomitus Oriens, is the book to review.

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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Mysterious » Sat Aug 11, 2007 11:11 am

I like how book two is shaping up. But what I've realised about great fantasy series (a.k.a. Sennadar, Wheel of Time, Sword of Truth) is the level of depth of detail they impart to the reader of how the world works.

Lupus has seriously shaken up the World Order of Fovea and it would have helped if you had added extra depth of detail to the Eldadorian Empire. e.g. What type of armour do the Wolf Soldiers use compared to Earth? Roman plus a few twists? Banking system and the Economy? Setting up a Stockmarket maybe? What about the pensions for the retired and wounded soldiers from his campaigns? What do they receive?

As Lupus has been planning this campaign for years, wouldn't it have behooved him to set up a serious agricultural and productive base? Work with the Dukes to set up more cities for the Empire? Set up various Universities and Colleges? Decentralise the power base so the loss of any one city would not have been crippling? Set up an Naval Academy?

You can refer to the Council War Series by John Ringo for help as well as the Roger McClintlock Series by John Ringo and David Weber. These can be found free to read from http://baencd.thefifthimperium.com/.

As again above, this is shaping up to be a great series.

Keep up the great work :lol:
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Fovean_Author » Sun Aug 12, 2007 1:11 pm

A man after my own heart. Yes, we ARE going to see more information about how he's brought technology to magic.

One thing that we'll see are 'skrits,' which is Lupus' answer to a checking system.

That will all come in the second pass, one the book is laid out and I do a major rewrite, defining the sub plots and putting more thought into their motivations.

Thanks for this, Mysterious, that is exactly the type of input I'm looking for
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Re: The Fovean Chronicles Online - Need opinions

Post by Mizriath » Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:06 am

Fovean_Author wrote:Guys, don't worry about book one - it's already to print

Book Two, Indomitus Oriens, is the book to review.
Ugh Ok. I hope I can find them in the bookstore in Singapore. This place is the pits in getting books. Buying books on line is an expensive nitemare, amazon charges $7 for the book but $25 for shipping it to Singapore.

They make money from shipping and not from selling the book, and I was like how could shipping cost much more than the book itself.
The sea flows as long as Earth exist, Love is alive as long as people exist. I will read Fel's stories as long as my heart still beats.

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