Thor's Child -Chapter 1

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Thor's Child -Chapter 1

Post by GBLW » Thu Mar 25, 2010 2:28 am

Metatrone wrote:GBLW, just to continue the talk.
I wasn't referring to your plot, but to the writing style. For example there's a 5line paragraph where you can read "the old couple" maybe 7-8 times. And you mention a lot of people doing "chores", but never give details. It isn't really important but after reading about "chores" 5-6 times with no clarification it repetitive. Of course it's not interesting and no one cares about the specifics, but little unimportant description makes the story more real.

Again I'm not criticizing. I know what a pain in the ass editing is. It takes me longer to edit my stories than to write them. When I'm not too lazy to write, that is. :)

I like the plot btw, the begging anyway.
Okay, I'll point out the repetition problem to my editors and I'll try to remember it as I'm writing.

Considering farm chores -- one of my editors already mentioned the points you made and I addressed that in the next chapter - which is already in my editors' hands. Since I was raised on a farm in the fifties, I guess I automatically assumed everyone knew what has to be done twice a day, seven days a week -- I know as a teenager farm life was often very boring even if it was busy. I suppose I subconsciously want my readers to 'feel' that boredom. :lol:

By the way, I have arthritis that hits quite hard some days, so I am experimenting and trying to write the story using a speech to type program - which means personal editing is a pita! (pita -pain in the @$$) Since I hate trying to correct my work using hands that some days are almost clubs, I have two friends doing my editing for me.

Yesterday was a bad day for my arthritis - today ain't much better - The only real difference is I'm groggy from medications -- that isn't an excuse, it's a warning -- some days I may respond and sound like a bear -- when I'm groggy, the only difference is then I sound like a hibernating bear.

K Pelle aka GBLW
My recent stories are available at:

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Re: Thor's Child -Chapter 1

Post by Metatrone » Thu Mar 25, 2010 1:15 pm

I used to spend my summers with my grandparents and great-grandparents until they got too old and moved to a house the city. I know what chores you're talking about. :) Though to be honest I rarely got to do much actual work. But still you should control the info and give the reader what you want him to know. Besides dull parts only makes you eager for the action. If you want to us to feel the boredom you should describe it what happens on a farm i great detail. :twisted:

Sorry to hear about the arthritis, hope you feel better. And can't wait for the next chapter.