Okay, I'll point out the repetition problem to my editors and I'll try to remember it as I'm writing.Metatrone wrote:GBLW, just to continue the talk.
I wasn't referring to your plot, but to the writing style. For example there's a 5line paragraph where you can read "the old couple" maybe 7-8 times. And you mention a lot of people doing "chores", but never give details. It isn't really important but after reading about "chores" 5-6 times with no clarification it repetitive. Of course it's not interesting and no one cares about the specifics, but little unimportant description makes the story more real.
Again I'm not criticizing. I know what a pain in the ass editing is. It takes me longer to edit my stories than to write them. When I'm not too lazy to write, that is.
I like the plot btw, the begging anyway.
Considering farm chores -- one of my editors already mentioned the points you made and I addressed that in the next chapter - which is already in my editors' hands. Since I was raised on a farm in the fifties, I guess I automatically assumed everyone knew what has to be done twice a day, seven days a week -- I know as a teenager farm life was often very boring even if it was busy. I suppose I subconsciously want my readers to 'feel' that boredom.
By the way, I have arthritis that hits quite hard some days, so I am experimenting and trying to write the story using a speech to type program - which means personal editing is a pita! (pita -pain in the @$$) Since I hate trying to correct my work using hands that some days are almost clubs, I have two friends doing my editing for me.
Yesterday was a bad day for my arthritis - today ain't much better - The only real difference is I'm groggy from medications -- that isn't an excuse, it's a warning -- some days I may respond and sound like a bear -- when I'm groggy, the only difference is then I sound like a hibernating bear.