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Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 9:16 pm
by Fel
This is it, the test chapter I wrote for Shifters.

Constructive criticism welcome. Negative criticism...I know where you live. Remember that.

Enjoy.

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 9:33 pm
by konman
Thanks Fel

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 9:47 pm
by ralbloke
Thanks Fel

Oh what we minions have to put up with!!

Yippeee

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:52 pm
by nachtdemon
Nice a second dose of fell tonight.

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:24 pm
by ralbloke
No fair Fel

Write more now!!!

No wait

don't stop adding to inception
Don't stop adding to Earth Bond
Stop sleeping and write!!

Teaser is right!
This could go so many ways.

Thanks a million for all your efforts.

Ralph

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 2:31 am
by zedd
Hi,
very very good first chapter. Please pretty please more :D

As usual great job. Just as a curiosity, I live something like 70 km south of a guarda :)

Regards

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 2:45 am
by Fel
zedd wrote:Hi,
very very good first chapter. Please pretty please more :D

As usual great job. Just as a curiosity, I live something like 70 km south of a guarda :)

Regards
Well, mister expert, did I get things at least close to correct? ;)

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 3:07 am
by soulz
You Sir are an evil, evil person! Now the wait is on for more. Pretty exciting introduction to the story.

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 3:33 am
by SYED
THanks, for the posting, just wondering when we start the endless and madening arguments, we should do it in the other stories section right, just checking.

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 9:53 am
by Mizriath
Constructive criticism.

A bit short. Too short to figure out why Rafael and the pieces of tid bits with the necklace. Too short. Not long nough. Should have stop at least to say who Rafael is and why the shifters are after the necklace. That his father is one of them?? killed by the shifters, betrayed by the shifters cause he a jinnnn.. hmm. Not ehough juice. But good writing. Good start of a plot.

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 10:24 am
by postal
Very intriguing, would like to see more. :?

Thanks,
TJ

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 10:52 am
by avalanche_man
Excited for more of this. I have little idea where you are taking it, but if you pull in the occult into this... Man, could be your most intense work yet. Love it, thanks fel.

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 1:47 pm
by firedrake3
Awesome story. Can't wait to see where you go with it.

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 2:45 pm
by SoronelHaetir
Certainly an interesting start, thanks for the early Christmas present.

Re: Shifters, test chapter.

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 10:07 pm
by AgCOtter
Once again you cause a person to contemplate something other than our normal everyday life. Thank you. I look forward to seeing your expansion from this beginning.

Appreciate your good work Fel.