Chemistry mid term on Hell

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firedrake3
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Posts: 107
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:51 am
Location: Europe

Chemistry mid term on Hell

Post by firedrake3 » Thu Dec 21, 2017 5:50 am

Got it from a Yahoo Group. :mrgreen:


Explanation of Hell!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona
chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The
answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct..... .....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of
a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh
my God over and over.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
An objective definition of "Political Correctness":

"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and
rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the
proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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Blacktiger
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Location: germany ; bavaria

Re: Chemistry mid term on Hell

Post by Blacktiger » Thu Dec 21, 2017 5:58 pm

This is the best explanation why god MUST exist, that I have ever read

A+ indeed :twisted:

artreus
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Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2004 6:31 pm

Re: Chemistry mid term on Hell

Post by artreus » Fri Dec 22, 2017 7:27 am

and like all real urban legends, it pops back up, every few years

http://www.google.be/search?q=hell+exot ... essay+joke

Steve.K.Bates
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Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2016 7:39 am

Re: Chemistry mid term on Hell

Post by Steve.K.Bates » Sat Dec 23, 2017 8:17 am

artreus wrote:and like all real urban legends, it pops back up, every few years

http://www.google.be/search?q=hell+exot ... essay+joke
Don't be such a downer old son, I remember this from the '90s, every generation should be allowed
to enjoy it as I did back then...

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