It's the news you never want to get.

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Not a ID
Katzh-dashi
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by Not a ID »

kal wrote: Sat Jan 02, 2021 2:49 amim sorry for your loss. At least your mom got one last holiday with all of you.
Agreed.
my grandparents all passed the same way. Alert one day, gone the next. the hospice my grandmother was in said that is very common.
One of my grandmother's passed less than a week shy of the 21st anniversary of her husband's death. She also is one for the "abrupt change" category. At the retirement home she was at, she'd evidently gone down for breakfast that morning and had a nice chat with some of her friends there and went back to her room as per her normal routine. When my sister's family showed up about 90 minutes later, they found her sitting peacefully in her rocking chair.
Exskie
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by Exskie »

Dear Fel

My deepest condolences on your loss.
Wishing you strength and grace during this time.
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AgCOtter
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by AgCOtter »

Fel,

What can a person say.
Condolences for your loss.
Prayer for you and your loved ones.
Hope that you will be able to remember the good times the two of you had.
Wish for a better future where medical science will be able to treat cancer, and other medical issues that are hard to correct today, with a quick diagnosis and swift treatment to correct the condition.
"Let's be Very Careful out there people!"
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canisd
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by canisd »

Fel,

I can only agree with what others are saying about my condolences.
D'ni botsahv prehniv

The ending has not yet been written
Rakarath
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by Rakarath »

Fel

My condolences on your mothers passing

Having lost my own mother to cancer, be glad that she was comfortable at home with family and it did not drag out in pain.

Grief is something you get through and not over, focus on your best memories of her in happy times and not at the end.

Best wishes,
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kd7mvs
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by kd7mvs »

Nothing lasts forever. All life ends; immortality does not exist in this reality.

Thus, the process of dying becomes in some ways more significant than the death itself; death will occur in the end.
That your mother was herself, and able to interact with others in a meaningful way for all concerned until the end, is a wonderful thing.

My maternal grandfather, my mother, and one maternal uncle all had severe Alzheimer's...I'm all too aware of what it can be like to have someone linger on after they can no longer remember who anyone is that they are in contact with, and after they have forgotten much, if not all, of what made life significant to themselves, if not to others.

Death ends the physical pain the individual is experiencing.
In some cases that may not have been a part of their lives for very long, in others...
My father was hit by a car when he was 10, eventually leading to a right leg below the knee amputation 10 years later; he didn't have a day without significant pain from 1935 until when he died in 2001 at 75 years of age.

It doesn't change that you mother is no longer with you, that you can't chat with her about stuff, and just be happy in each others presence.
Mourn her passing, and remember the good things about her life and your interactions with her.

To the extent possible, give yourself time to adjust, to process what has happened.

Take care.
GotToGo
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by GotToGo »

Fel,

My condolences to you and your sister, from one who has lost his and his sibling's own mother.

She now lives in your and your sister's wonderful memories of her.
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ilox
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by ilox »

Hey mate, it was a bugger to hear your news. It just isn't easy to handle and process the passing of a dear one.

:(

Thinking of you and your sister as you go through the motions to make the necessary things happen.

Take care, Stay Safe and Stay well. You have a lot of folks all around the world holding you in their hearts.
Cheers, Ian
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter.
Some day I intend reading it." ~ unknown
JohnDelvfar
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by JohnDelvfar »

Fel

My condolences on your loss.

A tradition that my family has for the passing of a family member might help you and you sister.
Gather pictures, art, clothes, cookie cutters, holiday decorations, letters, gardening tools,
basically anything that contains a story of who your mom was, what did she like, how she lived her life
then gather friends and family, just two or ten, or as many that will come, begin to tell the small stories of her life, how she made meals, how she kept her garden, what music she liked, go until the stories fill you with her life, until the grief is displaced for a while.
Leave the objects displayed, look and remember the connected stories so when grief overwhelms, some small item will trigger a smile, a memory, a tale

their story is our legacy, the base form which our stories begin

We, your many friends here, know she started a great story and teller of stories in you.
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mjkj
Katzh-dashi
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by mjkj »

My condolences, Fel
Javi
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by Javi »

My most heartfelt condolences Fel. Hugs to you and your loved ones
Rakoroa
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by Rakoroa »

Really sorry to hear this Fel, my condolences to you and your mother's loved ones.
mbeau
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by mbeau »

My deepest condolences Fel.
chipum2
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Re: It's the news you never want to get.

Post by chipum2 »

So Sorry to hear such news, I am doing the home health care for my mom right now, she has alzheimers, and forgets yesterday so every new thing that she has experienced, will be new again tomorrow. I am saddened by you mothers passing, and can relate to unsure feelings about her death, sometimes I wonder how much more she can endure and yet wholeheartedly wish for her to do so, is my wish a selfish one, sometimes the ending is better to come quickly, she would be greatly disheartened in the past to see herself today. My love and prayers go out to you who has suffered alongside one you so dearly loved. May your turmoil pass gently.
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