Fel In chapter 16 you wrote
“Honey, you’re probably looking at the strongest telepath on this planet,” Symone told her simply.
“Jys is in the top ten percent. She walked through Trelle’s hair before she was born.”
“That means I was lucky,”
Jyslin explained to Molly’s blank look. “And I’m not the strongest.
I think that honor goes to Yari, one of the girls from my squad. Her power is awesome in talent, well beyond
mine, but like me, she just didn’t have the right personality to be a mindbender.
But you Wrote In Chapter two
Yana was the youngest in the squad, just coming out of boot camp and still looking like a teenager with her relatively flat chest and narrow hips, but she was very smart, and she had awesome talent. Yana's telepathic powers outstripped just about everyone in the company.Despite that, she rarely used them, for some odd reason. Where most Marines sent nearly as often as they spoke, Yana virtually never sent.
Shouldn't it have been Yana Not Yari ?
And i can't find any Yari in any other chapter but 16
Phantom
Post Errors in Sub Chapter 16 here
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Phantom
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Post Errors in Sub Chapter 16 here
Last edited by Phantom on Fri Dec 15, 2006 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
And in the fury of this darkest hour
I will be your light
A lifetime for this destiny
For I am Winter born
And in this moment..I will not run
It is my place to stand
We few shall carry hope
Within our bloodied hands
(bloodied hands)
And in our Dying, we're more alive-than we have ever been
I've lived for these few seconds
For I am Winter born
The CruxShadows "Winterborn" (This Sacrifice)
I will be your light
A lifetime for this destiny
For I am Winter born
And in this moment..I will not run
It is my place to stand
We few shall carry hope
Within our bloodied hands
(bloodied hands)
And in our Dying, we're more alive-than we have ever been
I've lived for these few seconds
For I am Winter born
The CruxShadows "Winterborn" (This Sacrifice)
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Fiferguy
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Re: Post Errors in Sub Chapter 16 here
But remember that ALL Marines have extraordinary talent. I think the point here was that she had this really great talent, but didn't use it...
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Phantom
- Leaders of the Off-Topic
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- Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:19 am
- Location: "We're everywhere, for your convenience."
Re: Post Errors in Sub Chapter 16 here
The point on this one Was who had the Most .....I assume Fel forgot Yana's name and used Yari in it's place.Fiferguy wrote:But remember that ALL Marines have extraordinary talent. I think the point here was that she had this really great talent, but didn't use it...
If you Check the Quotes from the Story you can see what i mean
and Yari only appears One time in the whole story thats in chapter 16
where as Yana is used a lot in the first chapters.
Hopefuly Fel will answer question this soon.
Phantom
And in the fury of this darkest hour
I will be your light
A lifetime for this destiny
For I am Winter born
And in this moment..I will not run
It is my place to stand
We few shall carry hope
Within our bloodied hands
(bloodied hands)
And in our Dying, we're more alive-than we have ever been
I've lived for these few seconds
For I am Winter born
The CruxShadows "Winterborn" (This Sacrifice)
I will be your light
A lifetime for this destiny
For I am Winter born
And in this moment..I will not run
It is my place to stand
We few shall carry hope
Within our bloodied hands
(bloodied hands)
And in our Dying, we're more alive-than we have ever been
I've lived for these few seconds
For I am Winter born
The CruxShadows "Winterborn" (This Sacrifice)
Re: Post Errors in Sub Chapter 16 here
yah, I THOUGHT I remembered her name, so I wrote it without checking.
Bad Fel, not doublechecking your notes.
I've already fixed it.
Bad Fel, not doublechecking your notes.
I've already fixed it.
Just another guy from the shallow end of the gene pool.
Re: Post Errors in Sub Chapter 16 here
I am rereading the whole series from the beginning and noticed that House Trillane is spelled differently in the first few chapters (Tarlinne). This may have been posted elsewhere, but I was wondering if you had plans to go back and fix some of these typos? And I appologize for my nit-pickiness.